Dear Roma: An open letter to a postpartum pet

by Stephen Vernon


Dear Roma,

First, let me thank you for three years of service to our small but loving family. We really enjoy your unconditional love, companionship, warmth on cold winter nights and even playing fetch with your favorite toys. We’ll never forget the day we picked you up at the shelter. You were barely over 7 pounds, had the sweetest little eyes, and your soft tortie coat was puffed to perfection. Yes, it has been a good run. Allow me to now apologize for picking you up and and dropping you off in the corner of the yard after major snowstorms to “see if your primal wild animal instincts would lead you back to the house”. Your superior athleticism, tufted toes and uncanny ability to find a warm place to nap allowed you to conquer any snow drifts in your way. That said, we regret to inform you that you have been demoted to a lower status in the household, effective immediately.

Yes, I know, this seems sudden and unfair. You may point to the fact that you still sleep at the foot of our bed every night, and we occasionally brush your coat. That level of mediocre care will continue. Rest assured, your basic needs will be met: We will feed you, clean out your litter box and occasionally let you snuggle in our laps (only when suitable to my schedule and in seasonably cool weather). Going forward, please do not expect the same level of care or attention you once enjoyed. What I’m really trying to say is that we still love you...just a lot less. My son, the new CEO, has arrived and unfortunately there’s not room at the top for both of you.

Warm Regards,


The tall one in the house

Mason and Roma co-habitating

MODERN FATHER OF THE MONTH - Chris King, Bainbridge Is., WA

When I saw this guy walking into the grocery store with three kids in tow, I just had to meet him and grab a photo for the blog. Chris King was not only braving the grocery store with his three adorable kids (Sydney 6, Miles 21 months, and Elle 6 months) they were all super happy and loving the outing! A shout out to a proud Modern Father!

-Benjamin Doerr

Invisible Dad & the Assumptions That Blend Him Into the Background

by Benjamin Doerr

Being a stay-home dad is easily the most fulfilling and inspiring job I've ever had.  Being witness to my daughter's daily growth and discovery affords me great pleasure and I've certainly enjoyed connecting with other stay-home parents as well - moms and dads alike.  But, recently I've become aware of a bothersome dichotomy within this group as to how the parenting abilities of dads and moms are viewed and treated.  Interestingly, the assumptions about dads' abilities, or inabilities as parents are pinned on them by all types of people, even sensible moms.

Mothering Magazine Cancels Print Edition

We dads at Modern Fathering are sad to bear the news that Mothering Magazine is no longer available in print.  Mothering is certainly not just a journal for mothers, but has been amazingly insightful and inspirational for fathers as well.  We'll miss those midnight soothings in the rocking chair reading the print edition of Mothering...sigh...

The good news is that they are still online at Mothering.com! We encourage everyone to go to the website and have a read!  They really are an incredible resource for parents.

Rest in peace, print edition.  Mothering, we'll see you online!

From the Editors of Modern Fathering

Great Expectations: Waiting for Klaus

By Matthew Harrington

“Are you having a boy or a girl?” or in german “Junge oder Mädchen?” This was inevitably the first question everyone asked when they saw my wife’s swelling belly, and we must have been asked it about four thousand times. We would answer with a smile the same way every time. “We’re waiting to find out.” Some found it interesting that we were waiting, but most just contorted their face into a quizzical frown as they struggled to grasp with the concept that we could find out, but for some mysterious reason were refusing.

Parental Pipedreams: The Future's Looking Bright

by Stephen Vernon 

My son had just been born. If you recall my previous post about my birth experience, I held him close while L was being tended to, and we had a nice moment getting to know each other. Placing myself back in that, (trust me on this expecting fathers), very surreal moment, I try to identify what it felt like to meet my new child after nine months of anticipation. I had so many questions for the little boy whose warm feet and hands I had once felt kicking inside L.

Bring the Baby, She'll Bring the World

by Benjamin Doerr

Last winter, as we prepared to return to my wife’s homeland of New Zealand for two months of summer bliss, we found ourselves repeatedly faced with the same question from friends and strangers alike: “Are you taking the baby with you?”  Call me old fashioned, but who leaves behind a six-month-old for two months, while they bask in the glory of southern hemisphere summer? 

My Birth Story: A Modern Father's Perspective

by Stephen Vernon

So there I was resting my head on my pillow, closing my eyes, and hoping for a nice night of sleep. I had become accustomed to splendid rest ever since I moved to the couch 8 months into the pregnancy. It was Friday the 15th of October around 11:00 pm and I was snuggling into my couch bed when L woke me with excited eyes and said “I think it’s time.”

From Concept to Conception

by Matthew Harrington

Whether it “just happens” and parenthood is thrust upon you with only nine months warning or whether there is a protracted process to determine the “perfect time”, the decision to have a child is a momentous one. Our decision to have a baby nearly 4000 miles away from our families in a foreign country known for its unhealthy obsession with David Hasselhof and Lederhosen was not in the

Partner Support During Pregnancy

by Cameron Selby

Modern fathering starts at conception, give or take, depending on your political/religious views. I am talking about partner support here fellas. The pregnancy is a time for you to prepare and to hone your skills as the domestic superstar that every modern father becomes in order to look after the health of his partner and children. Below are just a few areas of focus to kick off this week's blog.

Bringing Bacon Home: Modern Domestic He-conomy

by Benjamin Doerr

My wife and I arrived home the other day in the midst of an argument.  Nothing serious - just your run-of-the-mill disagreement – but I was mad.  I was wrong, and I was mad about it.  What’s a guy to do?

Storming into the house I turned the silent treatment up to 50 (not to 50!), cranked a little Otis Redding and dove into some thick, therapeutic alone work – house cleaning.  That’s right, first it was a sweep of the floors (my god they’ve been begging to be swept), then I mopped the kitchen, and soon the